Rake: "If you can't trust a vampire, who can you trust?"
Apprentice: "You can only always pick up the knobbing where he left off, if you're that way inclined."
Apprentice: "At the risk of seeming crude, sleeping with someone else isn't going to make your ex-wife any deader."
Rake: "When you put it like that - crassly - you're entirely correct. Also crass. Did I mention that it's crass?"
Rake: "No ghost is going to graffitti any daughter of mine!!!"